Farewell letter

[Tata]

Здесь я еще такого не читала, потому - вот, улыбайтесь на здоровье!
Мало ли, может кому по работе пригодится


Dear Co-Workers,

As many of you probably know, tomorrow is my last day. But before I
leave, I wanted to take this opportunity to let you know what a great
and distinct pleasure it has been to type "Tomorrow is my last day."

For nearly as long as I've worked here, I've hoped that I might one day
leave this company. And now that this dream has become a reality, please
know that I could not have reached this goal without your unending lack
of support. Words cannot express my gratitude for the words of gratitude
you did not express.

I would especially like to thank all of my managers: in an age where
miscommunication is all too common, you consistently impressed and
inspired me with the sheer magnitude of your misinformation. It takes a
strong man to admit his mistake - it takes a stronger man to attribute
his mistake to me.

Over the year and a half, you have taught me more than I could ever ask
for and, in most cases, ever did ask for. I have been fortunate enough
to work with some absolutely interchangeable supervisors on a wide
variety of seemingly identical projects - an invaluable lesson in
overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily
tedium.

Your demands were high and your patience short, but I take great solace
knowing that my work was, as stated on my annual review, "mostly
satisfactory." That is the type of praise that sends a man home happy
after even a 10 hour day, smiling his way through half a bottle of
mostly satisfactory scotch.

And to most of my peers: even though we barely acknowledged each other
within these office walls, I hope that in the future, should we pass on
the street, you will regard me the same way as I regard you: sans eye
contact.

But to those few souls with whom I've actually interacted, here are my
personalized notes of farewell:

To Caulfield: I will always remember sharing lunch with you, despite
having clearly labeled it with my name.

To Mairead: I will miss detecting your flatulence as much as you will
clearly miss walking past my cubicle to deliver it.

To Linda: Best wishes on your ongoing campaign to popularize these
"email forwards." I sincerely hope you receive that weekend full of good
luck, that hug from an old friend, and that baby for your dusty womb.

And finally, to Kat: you were right - I tested positive. We'll talk
later.

So, in parting, if I could pass on any word of advice to the individual
who will soon be filling my position, it would be to cherish this
experience like a sponge and soak it up like a good woman, because a job
opportunity like this comes along only once in a lifetime.

Meaning: if I had to work here again in this lifetime, I would sooner
kill myself.

Very truly yours,

Cian K
PS: I will be throwing myself a happy hour farewell party at the Oden
5.30 tommorow evening if anybody is interested in drinks!