Само приползло

[magician]

(C) не мой, само приползло

The trouble of learning English...

[on the telephone:]

K-Who is calling?
W-Watt.
K-What is your name, please?
W-Watt is my name.
K-That is what I asked you. What is your name?
W-That is what I told you. Watt is my name.

[a long pause, and then from Watt:]

W-Is this James Brown?
K-No, this is Knott.
W-Please tell me your name.
K-Will Knott.
W-Why not?
K-Huh? What do you mean why not?
W-Yeah! Why won't you tell me your name?
K-But I told you my name!
W-Didn't you say you will not?
K-Not not, Knott, Will Knott!
W-That's what I mean.
K-So you know my name.
W-Of course not!
K-Good. So now, what is yours?
W-Watt. Yours?
K-Your name!
W-Watt is my name.
K-How the hell do I know? I am asking you!
W-Look I have been very patient and I have told you my name and you have not even told me yours yet.
K-You have been patient, what about me? I have told you my name so many times and it is you who have not told me yours yet.
W-Of course not!
K-See, you even know my name!
W-Of course not!
K-Then why do you keep saying of course Knott?
W-Because I don't.

[pause]

K-What is your name?
W-See, you know my name!
K-Of course not!
W-Then why do you keep asking "Watt is your name?"
K-To find out your name!
W-But you already know it!
K-What?
W-See, and you know mine!
K-Of course not!
W-Exactly!
K-Listen, listen, wait; if I asked you what your name is, what will be your answer?
W-Watt is my name.
K-No, no, give me only one word.
W-Watt
K-Your name!
W-Right!

[pause before it hits him]

K-Oh, Wright!
W-Yeah!
K-So why didn't you say it before?
W-I told you so many times!
K-You never said Wright before
W-Of course I did.
K-Ok I won't argue any more. Do you know my name?
W-I do not
K-Well, there you go, now we know each other? name.
W-I do not!
K-Good!

[pause before it hits him]

W-Oh, Guud!
K-Good.
W-No wonder, it took me so long, is that Dutch?
K-No, it's Knott!
W-Oh, okay. At least the names are clear now Guud.
K-Yes Wright.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We take you now to the Oval Office

Bush: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
Bush: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
Bush: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
Bush: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
Bush: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
Bush: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
Bush: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
Bush: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
Bush: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
Bush: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
Bush: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
Bush: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
Bush: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
Bush: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
Bush: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
Bush: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
Bush: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
Bush: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
Bush: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
Bush: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
Bush: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
Bush: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
Bush: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
Bush: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
Bush: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir. Bush: And stay out of the Middle East!Just get me the guy at the U.N. Condi: Kofi.
Bush: All right! With cream and two sugars.Now get on the phone.

(Condi picks up the phone)

Condi: Rice, here.
Bush: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?

[Maruska]

Продолжая коллекцию Само Приползло:
...Дизайн!
Мило. Можно добавить свой.

[Benjamin]

Сообщение от Maruska

Продолжая коллекцию Само Приползло:
...Дизайн!
Мило. Можно добавить свой.

Maruska, ну нельзя же так! Я теперь работать не могу

[Mark]

Вот Вам еще для поднятия настроения http://www.army.lv/Drugoje/Informaci...kol/Prikol.htm

[TomCat]

Приходит англичанин в кассу Аэрофлота:
- Ту тикетс ту Даблин!
- Куда, блин?
- ТУДАБЛИH!!!

[Петя и волк]

Сообщение от TomCat

Приходит англичанин в кассу Аэрофлота:
- Ту тикетс ту Даблин!
- Куда, блин?
- ТУДАБЛИH!!!

ох и бородатый анекдот блин
времен первых шагов по Ирландии

[AlexM]

Read it. its good.

Here's a dilemma for you.... With all your honor and dignity what would
you do?

This test only has one question, but it's a very important one.

Please don't answer it without giving it some serious thought.

By giving an honest answer you will be able to test where you
stand morally.

The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation,
where you will have to make a decision one way or the other.

Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.
Please scrolldown slowly and consider each line - this is important for
the test to work accurately.

You're in Florida...In Miami, to be exact. There is great chaos
going on around you, caused by a hurricane and severe floods. There are
hugemasses of water all over you. You are a CNN photographer and you
are in the middle of this great disaster The situation is nearly
hopeless. You're trying to shoot very impressive photos. There are
housesand people floating around you, disappearing into the water.
Nature is showing all its destructive power and is ripping
everything away with it.

Suddenly you see a man in the water,he is fighting for his life,
trying not to be taken away by the masses of water and mud. You move
closer. Somehow the man looks familiar.

Suddenly you know who it is - it's George W. Bush!


At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to
take him away, forever. You have two options. You can save him or you
can take the best photo of your life. So you can save the life of George
W. Bush, or you can shoot a Pulitzer prize winning photo, a unique
photo displaying the death of one of the world's most powerful men.


And here's the question (please give an honest answer):



























Would you select color film, or rather go with the simplicity of
classic black and white?