Things to try when shopping...

[Kvietok]

На работе переслали

What can
happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband
or
boyfriend along shopping.......... This
letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office
to a customer in Oxford :

Dear Mrs Murray,

While we thankyou for your valued custom and use of the
Tesco Loyalty Card, theManager of our store in Banbury is
considering banning you and yourfamily from shopping with
us, unless your husband stops his antics. Below is alist of
offences over the past few months all verified by our
surveillancecameras:

1. June 15:

Took 24
boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys
when they weren't looking.


2. July 2:

Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7:

Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine
products aisle.

4. July 19:

Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in
housewares.....
and watched what happened.

5. August 14:

Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15:

Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers
he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.

7. September 23:

When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry

and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

8. October 4:

Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked
his nose, and ate it.

9. November 10:

While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the housewares
aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.

10. December 3:

Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the ' Mission
Impossible' theme.

11. December 6:

In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using different size
funnels.

12. December 18:

Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled 'PICK ME!'
'PICK ME!'

13. December 21:

When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal
Position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'

And; last, but not least:

14. December 23:

Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled,
very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'

[OlexM]

Замечательно!!!

[KESHA]

попробую 1,2 и 9