Само приползло

[magician]

(C) не мой, само приползло

The trouble of learning English...

[on the telephone:]

K-Who is calling?
W-Watt.
K-What is your name, please?
W-Watt is my name.
K-That is what I asked you. What is your name?
W-That is what I told you. Watt is my name.

[a long pause, and then from Watt:]

W-Is this James Brown?
K-No, this is Knott.
W-Please tell me your name.
K-Will Knott.
W-Why not?
K-Huh? What do you mean why not?
W-Yeah! Why won't you tell me your name?
K-But I told you my name!
W-Didn't you say you will not?
K-Not not, Knott, Will Knott!
W-That's what I mean.
K-So you know my name.
W-Of course not!
K-Good. So now, what is yours?
W-Watt. Yours?
K-Your name!
W-Watt is my name.
K-How the hell do I know? I am asking you!
W-Look I have been very patient and I have told you my name and you have not even told me yours yet.
K-You have been patient, what about me? I have told you my name so many times and it is you who have not told me yours yet.
W-Of course not!
K-See, you even know my name!
W-Of course not!
K-Then why do you keep saying of course Knott?
W-Because I don't.

[pause]

K-What is your name?
W-See, you know my name!
K-Of course not!
W-Then why do you keep asking "Watt is your name?"
K-To find out your name!
W-But you already know it!
K-What?
W-See, and you know mine!
K-Of course not!
W-Exactly!
K-Listen, listen, wait; if I asked you what your name is, what will be your answer?
W-Watt is my name.
K-No, no, give me only one word.
W-Watt
K-Your name!
W-Right!

[pause before it hits him]

K-Oh, Wright!
W-Yeah!
K-So why didn't you say it before?
W-I told you so many times!
K-You never said Wright before
W-Of course I did.
K-Ok I won't argue any more. Do you know my name?
W-I do not
K-Well, there you go, now we know each other? name.
W-I do not!
K-Good!

[pause before it hits him]

W-Oh, Guud!
K-Good.
W-No wonder, it took me so long, is that Dutch?
K-No, it's Knott!
W-Oh, okay. At least the names are clear now Guud.
K-Yes Wright.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We take you now to the Oval Office

Bush: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
Bush: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
Bush: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
Bush: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
Bush: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
Bush: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
Bush: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
Bush: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
Bush: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
Bush: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
Bush: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
Bush: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
Bush: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
Bush: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
Bush: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
Bush: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
Bush: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
Bush: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
Bush: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
Bush: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
Bush: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
Bush: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
Bush: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
Bush: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
Bush: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir. Bush: And stay out of the Middle East!Just get me the guy at the U.N. Condi: Kofi.
Bush: All right! With cream and two sugars.Now get on the phone.

(Condi picks up the phone)

Condi: Rice, here.
Bush: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?